Emily in Paris

Everything I Know About France I Learned from Watching Emily in Paris

Dept. of Millennial Pipe Dreams

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Emily in Paris, Darren Star’s latest foray into aspirational female fantasy, is the very definition of basic. The series, which is rooted in the simplest of fish out of water premises, tells the story of the titular Emily Cooper (a painfully awkward Lily Collins) who finds herself on a yearlong secondment to Paris.

Why? More like why not? Imagine being sent off to France, without any real practical knowledge of the work you’re supposed to be doing, or comprehension of the culture, or even a basic grasp of the language. Now imagine being asked to take on the social media marketing and messaging of massive global brands which you have no experience with. What a gift! Hashtag blessed. You’re aware of who these brands are, and you have an Instagram account, surely that’s all the qualifications you need.

Forget your boss, that incredibly accomplished woman with a Masters in French, who just got sidelined because of her pregnancy. Just go ahead and embrace your ultimate millennial fantasy.

Emily in Paris
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Emily in Paris is a show that is built around a single joke. But we’ve seen the “ignorant American in Europe” trope play out so many times that it’s lost all semblance of comedy or charm. You know how Christopher McQuarrie started shooting Mission: Impossible – Fallout without a screenplay and just built the movie around its many action set pieces? I think Darren Star had the same idea with Emily in Paris. Only he built this series around its wardrobe department.

Emily in Paris

Who is this for you ask? The key demographic here is the kind of provincial American who doesn’t see the need for a passport, and whose idea of Europe comes from an article they flipped past in the February 1998 issue of GQ while at the dentist last week. (Which is also likely an apt description of the people who make up the writer’s room on this series.)

That said, Emily in Paris had so much to say about Paris and her people that I found myself shocked, slack jawed, and sacrebleu-ing at just how little I knew about the City of Light. So here it is, everything I learnt about France from watching Emily in Paris.

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1. All of Paris, the whole entire city, “looks like Ratatouille.” Because Emily is actually 9 and her only point of reference is a Pixar movie. (I am of course assuming that she’s referring to the cartoon and not stewed vegetables.)

2. The French have a casual relationship with showering. French men, you see, refuse to shower after sex. They insist on carrying that stank with them at all times. This is apparently why their Métro smells the way it does.

3. Paris is for cheese lovers! Yet another incredibly insightful Instagram post from Emily the social media maven.

4. The French cannot (or will not) speak American. How dare they? The sheer arrogance of thinking that everyone should be able to speak French! Comment dit-on “pish?”

5. The French are arrogant. Can you blame them really? They practically invented cuisine. They drove the Renaissance. They gave the world Brigitte Bardot.

6. The French make really good croissants/pain au chocolats. Well, duh! They did invent the damn thing, so you’d think they’d be pretty good at making it. Or according to Emily: “Butter + Chocolate = ❤️.”

Emily in Paris

7. The French are incredibly rude. As you well know: “That’s the French way, they’re very disagreeable.”

8. French men are either gay or want to sleep with you. “French men are flirts.” ALL OF THEM.

9. The French have a word for “entrepreneur,” but not one for “fidelity.”  “We’re in Paris!” is apparently the only valid reason you need to cheat on your significant other. “The French are romantics, but they’re also realists.” Monogamy be damned.

10. In order to become a true Parisian, you will need to wear a red beret and carry a baguette under one arm. There is also a French way and a wrong way to wear a scarf.

11. The French are lazy. Who knew that everyone in Paris only go into the office when they feel like it? In Paris, “no one judges you for doing nothing!” Now that’s what I call a work-life balance.

12. French mothers have no problems with older women sleeping with their underaged sons. What’s really important is that the young chap is good in bed. (No, really. See: Episode 8, “Family Affair.”)

Emily in Paris
Netflix, Season 1, 10 episodes
Showrunner: Darren Star
Cast: Lily Collins, Philippine Leroy-Beaulieu, Ashley Park, Lucas Bravo, Samuel Arnold, Bruno Gouery, and Camille Razat

Emily in Paris is now streaming on Netflix.

Uma has been reviewing things for most of his life: movies, television shows, books, video games, his mum's cooking, Bahir's fashion sense. He is a firm believer that the answer to most questions can be found within the cinematic canon. In fact, most of what he knows about life he learned from Ace Ventura: Pet Detective. He still hasn't forgiven Christopher Nolan for the travesties that are Interstellar and The Dark Knight Rises.

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